When “No!” Is Your Child’s First Impulse: ODD Parenting Advice

From choosing fights to disrespecting and disobeying authority figures to exploding over mundane requests — a kid with ODD (oppositional defiant dysfunction) might unleash behaviors that frustrate and exhaust even the most patient, nurturing father or mother.

ODD is characterised through chronic hostility, aggression, and defiance. What’s extra, it often co-occurs with ADHD. So, how can oldsters organize their kids’ ODD symptoms and now not exacerbate negative behaviors?

Here, ADDitude readers proportion their tips for managing oppositional defiance. Read about their experiences below and percentage yours in the Comments segment below.

“My son’s ODD has a tendency to flare when he turns into pissed off through seeing one thing as ‘unsuitable.’ The infraction could be serious, or one thing as small as a special pronunciation of a phrase. He becomes so disturbed and obsessed with that ‘fallacious’ that he tries to right it regardless of the cost. But, regularly, his solution becomes a far bigger ‘unsuitable’ than the original factor. It may just mean interrupting an event, shaming anyone, or just discouraging them. It can in reality hurt others he cares about. My primary technique for coping with this opposition and negativity is a light-hearted, funny distraction. When I’m feeling affected person and light-hearted, it’s more straightforward to do. And when my rapport with my son is beautiful excellent, it’s easier for him to obtain it.” — Nathan

“My 10-year-old son with ADHD reveals ODD symptoms only at home. He questions the whole thing he is told to do, argues for the sake of argument, and responds aggressively if told to do something he doesn’t like. We attempt to give him room to proportion his emotions with us, just right or unhealthy, however we continuously interfere when the aggression is geared toward his younger sister, who is neurotypical. We ship him to his room, now not as a standard timeout, but as a physical pause button to stop the aggression. We most often communicate through the situation after he calms down, and we now have sought outside counseling to help our family maintain the warfare.” — Anonymous

[Get This Free Download: Why Is My Child So Defiant?]

My son exhibits characteristics of ODD, on the other hand, it is extra prevalent when he deals with adults who're inflexible in their very own pondering.” — Anonymous

“Both of my teens have ADHD, which manifests in different techniques. The defiance increases with parental demands to select up dirty dishes or do homework, etc. This is not simplest frustrating for me as a mum or dad, but it causes my beaten ADHD mind to fixate on them completing the task. My daughter ignores the request, and my son burrows into his blanket or turns into crushed and yells at me to leave him on my own.” — Anonymous

I’ve discovered not to push them. It best ends up in a struggle of wills, which I do know I gained’t win. Instead, I try to cause them to make excellent selections. I give them choices or be offering data to get them pondering on course.” — Dee

“A very aggressive ‘No!’ is my daughter’s first reaction to maximum requests. I frivolously repeat whatever it is I expect her to do or prevent doing and then walk away to present her the area to loosen up and digest what she must do.” — Anonymous

[Read This: Why Is My Child So Angry and Defiant? An Overview of ODD]

“I see ODD in my 7-year-old son when he’s unmedicated. If I ask him to do something, the solution is instantly ‘No!’ or ‘Never!’ It turns out like an automated reaction. I simply wait and give him a chance to consider what he’s mentioned. He then toddles off to do what he’s instructed (with the entire usual distractions along the way). He’s now not like that when he’s medicated. It took me a very long time to figure out that he can’t help it, and I need to handle it flippantly.” — Nikki

“I by no means tell them at once what to do, excluding in an emergency. I cause them to suppose that it’s their concept, give possible choices, or I even inform them to do the opposite. I don’t react in the event that they do something odd. I just lift an eyebrow and lift on. I am by no means indignant with tantrums or oppositional verbal naysaying. It’s perfect to laugh it off as it’s steadily humorous. Most of these things take the sting out.” — Paul

“Mine are still younger (6-year-old twins). One dual has ADHD and ODD, and I’m positive they feed off each and every other. I make corrections the use of redirection. We are trying behavioral charts with momentary and long-term rewards.” — LC

“My son has both ADHD and ODD. The ODD is handiest directed at home to us. Other authority figures like teachers or doctors are questioned however now not defied. We are repeatedly re-establishing order in the house. It’s onerous to plan for him to defy a new boundary. We are constant and really careful with our phrases. We handle keep watch over through repeating and disengaging. It’s isn’t lovely, however we are doing our highest.” — Anonymous

“My teenage son has ADHD with ODD with symptoms of CD (conduct disorder). Anybody with authority is treated with disdain. It makes it tricky for him to get an schooling, stay a task, hold directly to his motive force’s license, the list is going on. In between bouts of lawlessness, he is an improbable kid. We all have professional make stronger; it is helping us more than him. He might be 18 quickly, and we worry about his future.” — Chris

“There is nothing we can ask our 10-year-old to do this is not met with some stage of resistance. Initially he will get angry. Then he complains. Often, he cries. Depending on how drained or overwhelmed he is, he may move into complete meltdown mode. We are after all learning to pick out our battles, however it’s never easy when so much of his conduct requires correction. He found out that reading calms him and hugs lend a hand (as soon as he’s over his meltdown). I do know he doesn’t wish to make our lives tricky on purpose and he needs he may well be different. It conjures up me to show empathy and continue to teach myself about ADHD and ODD to do higher for him.” — Anonymous

ODD Parenting Advice: Next Steps


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